that girl allison

I'm Allison. I see a ton of theatre. I'm a huge fan of Green Day, Ted Leo & the Pharmacists, Weezer, Oasis, Adam Rapp, Emily Giffin, and Shakespeare. I run sometimes, and do yoga always. My life has changed a lot in the last year, so this is my account of it all.

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thatgirlallison08 at gmail dot com

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Posts tagged "okcupid"
the best guy ever So the last person I’d started chatting with before I closed my OKCupid account was this dude. He’s a biochemist at New York Presbyterian and very cute. He was older and seemed sweet, but a little awkward. Then we texted too much, and I put off meeting him for too long (a couple of weeks). We finally spoke on the phone one night during which he ended up admitting that he does his best programming when he’s in a relationship because that’s when he’s happiest. Oh, and also that when he doesn’t have a girlfriend he’s constantly on the look out for one. As awesome as a super codependent boyfriend sounds, I’ll pass. I told him a few days later that I didn’t think we should meet. He apparently thought I was joking though because a week (or so) went by with no communication and then he texted me out of the blue to tell me he was in some fly-over state for work. I had deleted his number (and texts) so I had no idea who it was. When I finally guessed correctly, he said he’d thought I’d been kidding when I said I didn’t want to meet and that I couldn’t possibly be that callous.   I didn’t tell him that he seemed like an obvious codependent head case and that was why I didn’t want to meet him. I didn’t feel the need to pass judgment on him, and it wouldn’t help him anyways. Because really, who likes being told what their issues are? You need to sort that shit out yourself. I just laughed when I got this last text from him though. I’m sure he is one of the best guys ever. That’s totally why he’s single. He’s too awesome. Bullet: dodged. 

the best guy ever

So the last person I’d started chatting with before I closed my OKCupid account was this dude. He’s a biochemist at New York Presbyterian and very cute. He was older and seemed sweet, but a little awkward. Then we texted too much, and I put off meeting him for too long (a couple of weeks). We finally spoke on the phone one night during which he ended up admitting that he does his best programming when he’s in a relationship because that’s when he’s happiest. Oh, and also that when he doesn’t have a girlfriend he’s constantly on the look out for one.

As awesome as a super codependent boyfriend sounds, I’ll pass. I told him a few days later that I didn’t think we should meet. He apparently thought I was joking though because a week (or so) went by with no communication and then he texted me out of the blue to tell me he was in some fly-over state for work. I had deleted his number (and texts) so I had no idea who it was. When I finally guessed correctly, he said he’d thought I’d been kidding when I said I didn’t want to meet and that I couldn’t possibly be that callous.  

I didn’t tell him that he seemed like an obvious codependent head case and that was why I didn’t want to meet him. I didn’t feel the need to pass judgment on him, and it wouldn’t help him anyways. Because really, who likes being told what their issues are? You need to sort that shit out yourself.

I just laughed when I got this last text from him though. I’m sure he is one of the best guys ever. That’s totally why he’s single. He’s too awesome.

Bullet: dodged. 

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Bringing Out the Worst

I know people always say their significant other brings out the best in them and that’s great! But I didn’t know it was actual a thing to date someone who brought out the worst in you - or me, rather.

Remember the guy who liked to talk on the phone and who I had a semi-awful date with last week? He had all the best of intentions and was a genuinely sweet person, but he brought out the absolute worst in me. We had four or five dates and half of them started with him being unable to make plans, showing up late, and/or doing nothing but fighting with me.

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This is about right. I’ve dated a few guys this year, and if they weren’t socially awkward nerds, they were assholes. A couple were really great guys, but I found myself getting bored and realizing the chemistry wasn’t there. I started out dating this guy after a four-month conscious hiatus from dating. He lived far away (in Connecticut) and was emotionally tone deaf. My guy friends who met him had some choice words about him.  For three weeks I made the mistake of dating someone who worked at the company that I was interning at - that was kinda/sorta/very bad. I had one date with a random OkCupid dude who was a touring trumpet player (and quite a good one!), and then a handful of dates with a “tech founder” who lived in his parent’s loft. He claimed to be broke all the time, but was always going out. Now I don’t care if you live in your parents incredibly cool apartment rent-free and get your money from them as long as you don’t walk around claiming to be poor. Because that’s just obnoxious. There were two very good dates with a cute guy from OkCupid who decided we had nothing in common and that we shouldn’t continue hanging out. And the one date with a banker who was a registered Republican (I didn’t know this beforehand!) and likened date rape to circumcision. Then I spent the last couple of months dating a really great guy. We had things in common, mutual friends, and enjoyed each others company. It was pretty relaxed. No games, no second guessing. It was nice. Who the hell knows what 2013 has in store. But it will definitely involve fewer Republicans and in-denial trust fund kids. I’m getting better at asking for what I want and not accepting bullshit. These are all positive things, methinks.

This is about right. I’ve dated a few guys this year, and if they weren’t socially awkward nerds, they were assholes. A couple were really great guys, but I found myself getting bored and realizing the chemistry wasn’t there.

I started out dating this guy after a four-month conscious hiatus from dating. He lived far away (in Connecticut) and was emotionally tone deaf. My guy friends who met him had some choice words about him. 

For three weeks I made the mistake of dating someone who worked at the company that I was interning at - that was kinda/sorta/very bad. I had one date with a random OkCupid dude who was a touring trumpet player (and quite a good one!), and then a handful of dates with a “tech founder” who lived in his parent’s loft. He claimed to be broke all the time, but was always going out. Now I don’t care if you live in your parents incredibly cool apartment rent-free and get your money from them as long as you don’t walk around claiming to be poor. Because that’s just obnoxious.

There were two very good dates with a cute guy from OkCupid who decided we had nothing in common and that we shouldn’t continue hanging out. And the one date with a banker who was a registered Republican (I didn’t know this beforehand!) and likened date rape to circumcision. Then I spent the last couple of months dating a really great guy. We had things in common, mutual friends, and enjoyed each others company. It was pretty relaxed. No games, no second guessing. It was nice.

Who the hell knows what 2013 has in store. But it will definitely involve fewer Republicans and in-denial trust fund kids. I’m getting better at asking for what I want and not accepting bullshit. These are all positive things, methinks.

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Internet Week Geek Moment: Sam Yagan, CEO of OkCupid, and myself after a panel that he spoke on this morning about algorithms used on dating websites. I told him that I’d disabled my profile because of the results I was getting and when I asked if I could get a picture, he said, “Okay, but you have to promise to enable your profile again!” I’m considering it, but I’m not sure I want to open pandora’s box again. 

Internet Week Geek Moment: Sam Yagan, CEO of OkCupid, and myself after a panel that he spoke on this morning about algorithms used on dating websites. I told him that I’d disabled my profile because of the results I was getting and when I asked if I could get a picture, he said, “Okay, but you have to promise to enable your profile again!” I’m considering it, but I’m not sure I want to open pandora’s box again. 

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Just received this message on OkStupid:

Hey, What’s going on? Not much here. I really would like to get to know you, and have sent you emails before, but never heard back from you, I get that either you could be uninterested, busy, or perhaps just missed my chance, but I’d rather write 1 last email for 2nd chance, then none at all, I really would love to talk, and discuss what we’re interested in, hobbies, what we like to do for fun, what makes us laugh and so on, so I can really learn more about you and see if there is any chemistry. I don’t really believe much into the OKCupid quiz, and my profile is not really going to give deep insight to my soul, so let’s talk, let me know what you’re cell is or instant messenger or something so we can communicate and take it from there… Thanks! I appreciate your time in reading this, and hopefully in giving me a chance. 
Sincerely, 
[Redacted]

Talk about a boring message. I fell asleep before I finished it. Yes, this isn’t the first time he’s sent me a message and while persistence is appreciated in the real world, it’s just creepy online. He’s a 34yo Jerseyite. We don’t have anything in common [as evident by reading his profile]. I should totally respond, right? (Kidding.)  I hate OkCupid sometimes.  

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I received a rather vulgar message from some douchebag a couple of days ago and that was the last straw with OkCupid.  So with determination and my mouse, I took to the interwebs and deleted my account.  For good.  The guys who were messaging me were rather lame or completely lacking social skills.  Who knows, I may be back on it at some point, bur right now, I’m liking not being on it.  

I received a rather vulgar message from some douchebag a couple of days ago and that was the last straw with OkCupid.  So with determination and my mouse, I took to the interwebs and deleted my account.  For good.  The guys who were messaging me were rather lame or completely lacking social skills.  Who knows, I may be back on it at some point, bur right now, I’m liking not being on it.  

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This dude has sent me two messages in the last two days on OkCupid. Really?

I haven’t gotten into the habit of sending messages or replying to them again yet, but this was just too hilarious not to post.  My profile says I’m a grammar nazi (for lack of a better term) and this is the first message he sends me:

Hi : ))Gdmorning..Hw re u ?I hope u’re awesome..Meanwhile So Sorry to bother u.U’re so cute.I would say hii to u.I see U look like a sunshine.I wish I’d like to talk to u? Take Care

Well, okay.  Ignore.  Then today I got another message from him with a sad face emoticon on in the subject:

Hi..Hw re u tdy ? So sorry to bother u again again : ( But i would like to know u..i see u re so gorgeous and i guess ure lively and funny.Im [Insert Name] from [Insert Country].I live in NY..Please give me one chance for talk with u ? ? ? Take Care sweety

I don’t know, ladies, they say persistence is key.  So, even though he can’t spell or form a grammatically correct sentence, should I write back?  I was thinking of sending Dylan to meet him instead. 

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