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Today in Things I Am Over we will discuss dating apps. Which I am over. Completely. Not that I ever had high hopes for them to begin with but with such low expectations, you’d think I’d have fun with at least one of them, right? They are all basically the same app, except Hinge pulls people who you have friends in common with on Facebook, so it’s not, like, totally sketchy. Just sort of, very sketchy.
Tinder is a joke, which is why I joined. The gross photos that I come across always make me laugh (and occasionally cringe). I met one guy for a drink once and he was very nice. He was a southern boy who ended up being in a very indie band that I like. He was flakey though. Like, we-couldn’t-seem-to-make-plans-to-get-together-in-the-six-weeks-since-our-first-date-flakey. Yet he was still texting me. I gave up on him. I think he was just sort of unknowingly stupid. Very sweet, but stupid.
Then there’s Hinge. This is a joke too but I’d heard it was better than Tinder, and I was like, ‘Why not!’ so I joined. Spoiler alert: It’s not better than Tinder. You get 15 matches a day and you can go through and say if you like anyone (ie. do I think this person is attractive?). I’ve matched with a bunch of guys but I haven’t actually met any of them in person. Why? I literally know nothing about the person from their profile. So, essentially, why would I want to meet them? Because they’re attractive? Not good enough. (For me, at least.) I was supposed to meet a guy for coffee today but I decided I was just that disinterested. I’m sure he was a nice person, but luckily I caught him via text before he got on the train from Park Slope to come to the UWS.
Then there’s Coffee Meet Bagel. This is a snooze. You get one match a day and if you both say you like each other, you get a text and you commence speaking and actually getting to know each other - as well as you can via text. I’ve met met one or two guys off this app. It’s OK, but I’m bored it at this point.
The problem with these apps? They’re pretty shallow. You’re going solely (for the most part) off whether or not you think the other person is attractive. For me, this is just not enough. You’re good looking? Well, congratulations on your genetics. Attraction for me comes from whether or not the other person is smart, witty, sardonic, etc. Chemistry, I guess.
Maybe part of the problem is that I don’t really feel like making the effort to date anyone right now. Yes, besides the fact that these apps are shitty, there is that fact too. I’ll be deleting these apps and I’ll stick to going out in the real world and see who is fed up them too.
I’m going up to Woodstock for the day with Kirsten today (just happens that it’s the 45th anniversary of the concert - we had no idea when we picked this day!) and I woke up before my alarm and just sort of got up.
I sat up, turned my phone on, and then turned my computer on. And then I sat looking at both as they turned on and I felt a little shaky.
I’m used to waking up to my alarm, turning my phone on, and sitting in seated meditation for 15 minutes before doing ANYTHING else. This was different and I can see the immediate effect it had on my waking up.
So before logging into my computer, I sat in my chair and concentrated on my breath for about two minutes (breathing in and out for five, six, etc. up to ten, and back down). I felt much better.
I also probably should’ve stretched, but hey, at least my mind is calmer now.